One day at a time, I say. A year is too long a commitment.
I want to balance my brain’s accounts. I also want to write more seriously. Not scholarly. That’s boring. But I have stories to tell. Of my youth. Of my family’s journey to the new world. About my political beliefs.
I want to collect the “comments” I make on WordPress. They are the best of me: outrageous puns, apocryphal stories, loving encouragements. I don’t want to lose that voice. But even that voice exhausts me. I’m always checking to see if the spelling is right. The grammar.
I don’t even mean the aphasia. I’m at piece with it. I write 100 words, take a nap. Another 100 words, another nap. Slow and steady wins the race, right. And I do. Write, that is! I wrote a non-sense poem for my daughter once. She still enjoys it. Not a masterpiece, but worth keeping.
I can’t be crazy all the time. I’m learning about neuroscience. New findings about brain and mind. I’ve always been interested in that. Meditation. The strange phenomenon of sleep. So ordinary, and mysterious at the same time.
But my creativity is all wrapped up in manic energy. Could I write seriously on Monday, politically on Tuesday, scientifically on Wednesday. Mindfully on Thursday? Thoughtfully on Friday? Crazily on Saturday? Religiously on Sunday?
And what about next week? Its sounding like work! I don’t want work.
At this rate, I’ll be making New Years resolutions for 2015!
- “What are some possible New Years resolutions for you?” (shayaday.wordpress.com)