The Flight Of The Fluttering Vultures, Part Deux

A Murder Of Vulturesyeah, i know its pretentious.  but,  its my blog. so go beak yourself.

a better metaphor would have been “hopping” vultures.  even better would have been an invocation of  “a shopping mall filled with zombie bargain hunters at Christmas”.  stop already!

  Yahoo Answers says “A Murder Of Vultures”.  good enough for me.  it was late and i was orgasmic with creative joy.  i had already shot my load and it was time to sleep.

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well the rest is not so dramatic.  i’m a whore in my writing.   i just want to get to the end already.  don’t you?   [in a classic example of ‘double-binding’-ness, this is not true of me.  but it sounds ‘great’!]  there was  one moment there when the seminar leader said, “you know you were supposed have an outline for me today”; but i was so overjoyed by my salvation, i just shook it off.  i had all the “thinking” part already done.  my aphasic typing and composing would take hours, but i was given a “Get Out Of Jail” card.  i felt free.

i produced a great report.  all filled with hyper-links and references to culture, business, literature, and discussion questions.  ten pages.  i know quantity is not a measure of quality, but i know it was good.  they may not like it.  the group is filled with ‘movie people’.  scriptwriters, cameramen, cinematographers.  not famous ones.  just “Hollywood” people who love their work.  we’ll see how i did.  but i had dodge the bullet.

in retrospect, i had just experienced my own  strong psycho-dynamic process.  i usually”taxi dog” my life away, doing nothing but blogging, eating, sleeping, occasionally fucking, talking to Fish, and so forth.  the ‘shame’, the ‘angst’, i felt were overwhelming.  i don’t carry a lot of psychological baggage.  but this experience has taught me something about self-care as against self-expression.

my wife and i do this little ‘dance’.  she wants to control everything.  i think she’s afraid of life.  i love new experience.  i’m surprised i haven’t tried every new high that comes along.  i am always at odds with my super-ego.   she likes to make love in the darkness.  i want to do it on the train station.

[I just wasted 45 minutes rhapsodizing with Google about sex on the train station.  She will tell you the strangest stories.]

i just notice this:  my wife is my super-ego.   that’s not news to me.  i just never saw it that way before.  she writes the checks.  i create the mayhem.

so.  i have work to do.  i have to grow up.

Keep tuned for updates.

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look down.  there is a little box down the page where it shows the time of the revisions.  i should be checking on that.  my posting  today started 11:30.  now its 1:50.  how long does it take you to post a an average day?  i’m now doing the catergories and tags.


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